Today’s Objectino* includes a video!
A JACKE WILSON OBJECTINO
Two young parents are admiring their sleeping six-month-old boy.
FATHER: He’s getting so big—pretty soon he’ll be learning how to read, and we’ll be watching all those great educational shows, like Sesame Street and Electric Company…
MOTHER: Oh yeah! Electric Company. Those two silhouettes talking to each other.
[MOTHER holds up hands like two puppets facing each other]
MOTHER [opening one hand]: Sh…
[Long pause. MOTHER stares at the other hand.]
[Long pause. MOTHER does not open the other hand.]
MOTHER [dropping her hands to her sides]: The only thing I could think of was shit!!!
Objectino? What’s an Objectino?
Objectinos are fragments of life that haven’t quite risen to the level of an Object. They are presented here to tide you over while I work up the next in my series of 100 Objects that collectively form my (more or less fictionalized) history.
Couldn’t you come up with a better name than Objectino?
Did this Objectino really happen? Or did you make it up?
Thanks for the taste, Jacke. How generous of you! Here we are, practically crawling across a desert of Objectlessness, searching for stories, desperate for a glimpse of humanity, parched to the point of hallucination, delusional beyond all common bounds of sanity, and in this state of mind we have only one thought: how can we get more Jacke Wilson? And you give us a crappy little snatch of…well, whatever that stupid thing above is. Can’t you do better than that?
Thank you for asking! Because I am terrible at self-promotion, I need to remind myself to remind you that my books are available at Amazon.com and elsewhere, in many formats (paperback, Kindle, other e-book, etc.) and at reasonable prices. (Man, am I terrible at self-promotion. Ah well. It’s the life of the indie author…)
- The Race (the short comic novel about politics for people who hate politicians) (“warm and full of life…”)
- The Promotion (the short comic novel about the law for people who hate lawyers) (“absolutely fascinating…”)
If you’ve already enjoyed these books—well, first of all, many thanks for checking them out. And secondly, if you wouldn’t mind leaving a review on Amazon or elsewhere, I would very much appreciate it. I’m trying to keep things rolling here!
My podcast is FREE like every good podcast should be and is available on iTunes, the show’s official page (hosted by libsyn), and at my own podcast page. If you’re enjoying the show (or even if you’re not!), please do leave a comment on my blog or on iTunes, it really helps me to get the word out and to improve the show.
If you’re a reviewer, you can get copies of my book for free by sending me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org or by leaving me a comment. And by “reviewer” I mean any sort of reviewer – an Amazon review, a posting on your own blog, a Goodreads review, or wherever else good people share good news with other good people.
Whew. All that self-promoting has exhausted me. Even giving books away for free feels like an imposition. Back to your busy, meaningful lives! (And thank you, everyone, for all the kind words and support!)
Nice speech, Jacke. Next you’ll be selling “medicine” out of the trunk of your car.
Literature is good medicine, my friend. Some would say the BEST medicine.
Oh good lord. I didn’t think things could get worse.
Things can always get worse. My writing career is a testament to that.
Really Jacke, can we get something besides you hawking your books and touting your stupid show?
Like a t-shirt? I’m thinking about it.
Jesus. How can you stand yourself?
It’s a living.
Can I go now? Are we finished?
Well, for now we are. Until next time…
That’s it? No onward and upward?
How about a random link to a previous post?
Hmm. Maybe the Top Posts of the Year?
Those are more Objects!
What can I say? The people have spoken.
How about you stop being so cocky? Point your readers to the Worst Posts of the Year.
I’d never stoop to that. Those posts deserve to die. But there are some non-Objects in the Honorable Mention post.
Who’s your favorite writer?
Don’t be cute.
Maybe this guy…?
I said not to be cute…Hey, are these really frequently asked questions?
They are now.