The Shirt Pocket Avatar (A Jacke Wilson Objectino)

Back to the workplace for another Objectino!*

A JACKE WILSON OBJECTINO

Overheard in an office meeting:

MAN: I realized the other day that my shirt pockets are so thin you can see my photo ID through them. For years there’s been this little me riding around in my shirt, right on my chest, where everyone could see it. I had this idea that maybe I should use that little guy, like there’d be this little man who would say all the things I wanted to say but couldn’t. The real me would be saying, “Okay, I’ll get that to you right away, no problem.” And the little me on my chest would say, [makes tiny voice ] “Up yours, jackass.” I don’t know…am I working too hard?

WOMAN: I think you answered that question about five sentences ago.


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New Office Technology (A Jacke Wilson Objectino)

Today’s Objectino* goes back to the land of the Blood Cake

A JACKE WILSON OBJECTINO

After the New York office criticized us for having old equipment, our bosses splurged on a new videoconference room with state-of-the-art technology. At our next weekly luncheon with New York, we were excited to demonstrate how the camera swiveled automatically to focus on whoever was speaking.

We were taking turns talking, inwardly congratulating ourselves for finally beating New York at something, when suddenly the camera zoomed in on Beth, who had just taken an especially large bite of her sandwich.


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The Glamorous Colleague (A Jacke Wilson Objectino)

Introducing…the Objectino!*

Overheard at an office meeting:

WOMAN 1: I’ve always had this thing for the days of real glamour. You know, like the Fifties and Sixties, when women had style. I was born at the wrong time! I could see myself as an Audrey Hepburn…or a Jackie O…

WOMAN 2: There’s a potato chip on your boob.


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Today’s Comment of the Week

From Wonderful Reader nilochahtims, commenting on A History of Jacke in 100 Objects #3 – The Blood Cake:

I started reading, and I could not stop. I had my daughter read the first two sentences, and she could not stop. Same with my wife. My favorite was the ear: icing on the cake. An ID-photo goodbye cake is just the tacky thing to expect in retrospect. It reminds me of all the people one would never know if work were not necessary to pay the rent.

It’s hard to imagine a nicer compliment. Thank you!

You can read about the unstoppable struggle I had with my officemate Jerry Seinfeld, or visit the 100 Objects page for links to all the stories.