A Christmas Full of Longing and Ache

Friend of the blog georgetteann has a lovely post on Christmas music over at her site, A Walk on the Bright Side:

As my mind drifted away from the conversation at our table and focused on the music, I began to notice I knew almost every song in his repertoire by heart. Some songs were from my mother’s era—great emotional tunes of the 60’s and 70’s that she played over and over when we were growing up. Others were melodies from my high school and college days in the late 80’s and early 90’s. What I noticed was that I could remember exact moments associated with each and every one of them. I could recount people and places and events within the first few notes. As I drove home, I realized my life was like a soundtrack marked by a series of great moments tainted by plenty of unpleasant ones…and then the tears came…and then the words came.

Beautiful. She also reminds us of the devastating classic, “Please Come Home for Christmas” by Charles Brown.*

Lord, that’s devastating. I’ve worn out his album Cool Christmas BluesMy kids don’t get it at all, of course. In a way I’m grateful they don’t. They’ll understand it later, I suppose, as adults do. Until then it’s poppy, upbeat, sing-songy music. Songs in major keys.

We say Christmas is for kids, and I’m not going to argue. But Christmas for kids is Frosty and Rudolph and platters of sugar cookies. Adults have more refined palates. My tastes run to coffee and dark chocolate; my taste in music is for all the pining, longing, aching songs of Christmas. (Sinatra’s “I’ll Be Home For Christmas” is the one that gets me.)

*I don’t know much about Charles Brown. Wikipedia says:

“Born in Texas City, Texas, Brown graduated from Central High School of Galveston, Texas in 1939 and Prairie View A&M College in 1942 with a degree in chemistry. He then became a chemistry teacher at George Washington Carver High School of Baytown, Texas, a mustard gas worker at the Pine Bluff Arsenal at Pine Bluff, Arkansas, and an apprentice electrician at a shipyard in Richmond, California before settling in Los Angeles in 1943.”

Wow. What a life. Merry Christmas to all who celebrate it. May you and your families have much joy. Both the unadulterated joy of a nine-year-old tearing into presents, and the melancholy, nostalgia-infused joy of an adult watching the scene and smiling through sad eyes.

This song always reminds me of my grandfather, who was so upset by his youngest brother’s death in World War II he could barely speak about war, or his brother, for the rest of his life. You can listen to my podcast episode about my grandfather as a young boy, a story that was a gift to my own boys, by following this link.



13 responses to “A Christmas Full of Longing and Ache”

  1. Love this post, Jacke! I’ve always been a sucker for Sinatra as well…a beautiful song. Thank you for sharing my post with your readers. I hope you and your family have a wonderful Christmas! 🙂

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    1. Thank you! And of course, thanks for writing the beautiful post and poems. Have a very merry Christmas!

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  2. Very poignant and maybe that’s how we learn to acknowledge Christmas.

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  3. Charles Brown’s Please Come Home for Christmas has been a favorite of mine since I was a little girl. I still love this song, a song full of longing and aching–the story of my life. Thanks for sharing this.

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  4. You hit something I’m sure resonates with most folks. Christmas is an emotional time and those emotions often tie to music. An uncle of mine went through the Battle of the Bulge in WW2. Christmas was concentric with the event. Bing Crosby’s White Christmas was popular then and until he died he couldn’t help tearing up anytime he heard the song.

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  5. I saw Charles Brown in Chicago in about 1986. He could really belt it out.

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    1. Really? Must have been a great show. Chicago is such a great town for music.

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  6. Judy Garland’s ‘Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas’ + Frank Sinatra is all I need on Christmas.

    Don’t you just love how every pop act puts out a Christmas album? They all sound the same to me, truly!

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    1. Oh no, Judy Garland. Now I’m going to have to listen to that, and I’m sure it will destroy me. She’s got almost a Billie Holiday level of sadness to her.

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  7. Wonderful how Christmas deepens as one moves from childhood to adulthood.

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  8. So much heartbreak, so much sorrow…I think the Christmas season only intensifies this. Great song, the ache is palpable. Love old school…my era as well.

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  9. I’ve been putting over your blog for the past hour, and my, you have been busy! I think in many ways we have all had our own pitfalls and sadness.

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  10. Yes, so true. I haven’t responded to everyone here, but I’m finding something heartwarming about all this shared sadness. 🙂

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